all head, all heart

Nothing attracts Aces like a King.

There is something about photography that makes even the rawest of amateurs believe that they are indeed artists from the moment they bust out their new cameras from their boxes. The relative accessibility of digital technology probably plays a factor, but for the most part I think a general lack of respect for the arts is what is driving this phenomenon.

Most people claim to value and even respect art. However, this usually only applies to refined and culturally accepted final works of art. There is no love for the process. There is no respect for the foundation that was painfully and carefully built. Technique doesn't happen overnight. You can get lucky a few times, but consistency is the true mark of a talented artist. Having said that, some of the artists who have produced the greatest works of art were wildly inconsistent.

I also believe there used to be a certain amount of luck or chance involved with artists who were discovered before the various information revolutions. I am certain that for every famous artist there were at least a dozen of the same caliber who went about their lives and to their deaths without any significant recognition or acknowledgement. However, today as the age of internet unfolds, any savvy person can potentially share their work instantly with billions around the world. Unfortunately, we are all being exposed to a lot more crap as well. 

More and more I feel that photography at its core is about art. While technique serves its purpose, without a heavy helping of heart and soul, I find that images are dull and lifeless. A muddled mind and a cold heart can only produce dead images. When the heart and mind are in alignment, beautiful and amazing things happen.

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While I do think it is somewhat cowardly to hide behind an anonymous computer and rip into people, I find the Bitter Wedding Photographer to be pretty funny. I wish there was a local version of her persona, because there are plenty of photographers who deserve to be laughed at in the Washington, DC area. To be fair, I think there are lots of funny photographers in all markets and regions. 

Priorities

Life is and has always been about following an official or unspoken set of priorities.

You inevitably commit your time and resources to the things that you deem most valuable and important. When I was younger, money was more important than my time. But I am starting to realize that there is no substitute for time, especially lost time. There is no amount of money that can bring that back. Time is money, and you have to put your time and money where your mouth is. What is on a man's heart may be unspoken, but his actions speak volumes. And quite frankly, you really only need to read a few chapters to figure the rest out. A really good writer could get the job done in a few sentences or a paragraph.

In your 20s and 30s, usually that focus is on getting an education or pursuing a career. Passions, hobbies, and family responsibilities sometimes merge, but for the most part it is difficult to truly multi-task and "chase two rabbits." You can keep an eye on the other rabbit, but it is probably wise to start digging into one hole.

That is as far as my analysis (admittedly limited) goes, because I just hit my 30s. We shall see what new thoughts and ideas another decade of life will bring.

A huge game-changer in all of this is of course the introduction of a child. Time becomes an even scarcer commodity. At the same time, I think each and every parent has the option to choose just how complicated they will make the ordeal of raising their children. There is something to be said about standing on the shoulders of giants, but most parents have too much advice to give on theories that are far from verifiable and questionable at worst. The variables that exist are staggering and truly impossible to fully account for. Raising a child is a far too personal and unique experience to rely solely on the opinions of others, especially hyper active "Super-Moms." I don't know what does the trick for them, but a conversation with an eager Super-Mom is certainly one of my Kryptonites. Yawn. Wake me up when it's over. It is hard for me to feign interest in the latest baby gadgets and theories.

Sound advice... if you don't want your kid to play in the NFL.

I don't want my life to be all about my son. I do love the kid more than I thought I could ever possibly love a baby. I want to create a loving home for him and give him all the support he needs and wants, but I will not give up on my pursuits. I will not stop living "my life." Some people might say they are living for their children, but that doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. And quite frankly, sometimes I think it is a cop-out. First and foremost, I need to pursue my passions and dreams to the fullest. If not, what will I tell my son one day? Follow your dreams, but just until you have your own kids? If it gets too hard at that point, give up and just console yourself by putting "parent" on your resume? If you are lazy, can you expect your child not to be? Would that be fair? I am sure there will be elements of hypocrisy in the traits and values I try to instill in my son, but I would at least like to try to be the smallest hypocrite I can possibly be.

The other harmful dynamic that I can understand people are susceptible to is the temptation to channel all your professional and personal frustrations into unrealistic expectations for your child. Yes, sometimes people hit their 1 outers, but for the most part it isn't fair to expect your kid to be a Rhodes Scholar who goes on to play in the NFL and walks the runways in Paris, Milan, and Tokyo on the side if you were a C student, in looks and in school (gym and core classes). Your child might one day grow up to be the President of the United States, but even that would require some hefty startup money on your part.

I don't claim to have the answers. I just kind of want to enjoy the ride. And if there are no answers at the end of it, that's fine by me too.

Infrared Goggles

I've posted about infrared photography before, but I'm going to do it again. I just love the effect. The contrast between light and dark presents the opportunity to create dreamy pictures.

On a bright sunny day with lots of "greenery" present, there is nothing I love more than popping a wide lens on my camera and shooting a scene with an infrared body. The greens wind up a creamy white in the final image. Some will claim that you can simulate any look with post processing. While I believe it is technically possible, I generally try to limit my time spent processing images. And quite frankly, I am not convinced the average Photoshop user can truly create infrared images that look as good as the real thing. As for film, I do believe that post processing can mimic the grain and overall look of film down to a level to a point where it would be indistinguishable from the real thing. Sorry purists, film is destined to go down the lonely path of records, 8 tracks, and cassette tapes, etc.

This last image is not an infrared one, but Sepia is another favorite color tone of mine. Technically, Sepia falls under the category of Black & White. In an ideal world, I think I would shoot 95% of my images in Black & White. And plus, I could simultaneously pay homage to Michael Jackson. Because as we all know, the natural progression from "it doesn't matter if you're black or white" is to embracing Black & White.

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One morning I woke up and discovered I was 31 years old.

I feel restless.

The oldest person in the world recently passed away. Born in 1896, she was 114 years old.

I wonder how this individual was able to process and adapt to all the changes in our world. Commercial production of automobiles only started in 1891. The Wright Brothers hadn't even flown their first airplane yet. The world may have very well been flat, because so many fundamental aspects of globalization, like travel and communication, were moving along at a crawl. At least the wit of Mark Twain was readily available for entertainment. Good writing is one thing that will always stand the test of time.

We usually think of the past in terms of what is missing. It's painted as a dark era that is lacking the modern comforts and technological advances of today. Can you believe people lived without this? What would you do without that?

However, if one really thinks about it, there must be things that we are missing. Things that we have lost along the way.

Unadulterated Kidspeak

2011 may be off and running, but I feel as if I have been running in circles for the past few weeks. I am in major procrastination mode as of late but have decided to take the ol' blog for a spin. My to-do list is running long (and longer by the day), but writing has always been a catalyst for getting things done in my life.

I got to spend some time with my 6 year-old niece and her entourage this past weekend. She took an immediate liking to my son. I asked if the baby looked more like me or my wife. My niece paused thoughtfully. To quicken the decision process, I pulled my son up and placed his cheek against mine. Most people seem to think that Lex looks more like his daddy, so I was relatively confident that she would pick me. I smiled a big cheesy smile in anticipation of her choice.

She looked at the two of us carefully and intently. After some time, my niece eventually chose me.

I let out a happy chuckle and asked, "Why?"

"You both have chubby cheeks." = )... = (

I cracked up at her response. A kid will always give it to you straight, and I respect that. My niece is absolutely right, and I respect her honesty. I have been neglecting the G in GTL since my son was born, and I look forward to getting that part of my life back.

Cheeks in question

As for 2011, I do have lots of goals and objectives I wish to reach. However, I don't really believe in resolutions. I am excited about my website in production, and hope for continued growth as a photographer. I've given up on planning every single aspect of my life and checking off boxes as I go.

No resolutions. Just resolve.

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And I know it may not seem like it as of late, but I really do not intend this to become a blog featuring photos of my son.

2010: In Closing

A year ago, my life was vastly different. While much of my life has been flipped upside down (in mostly good ways) since the end of 2009, my passions still remain in tact. New friends were made and the bond of some old friendships strengthened. 2010 was a year of much growth, and I got to experience many different aspects of photography, the highlight being the opportunity to photograph Tiger Woods on assignment for the Tiger Woods Foundation. It may not be a big deal to some who cover subjects of Tiger's caliber on a consistent basis, but it was an exciting and amusing experience for me.

I have big plans for my photography in 2011, and I look forward to their deliberate and careful execution. I might enjoy living life on the edge and taking unexpected detours, but I don't believe in shoddy half-assed effort. Hope is not a strategy. Sweat is the fuel that dreams are made of.

I recently read the following portion in the book "Fast Track Photographer" by Dane Sanders:

"When a [person] is looking for a photographer, [they] will commonly say something like 'photography is really important to me.' For the vast majority of [people], what that means is remembering the day well is important to them and they see photography as the vehicle for making that happen. Remembering the day well through photographs means they want those images to elicit feelings they want to have experienced or actually did experience on their special day. If the images are bad, of course, this will get in the way of the [person] experiencing those feelings. But this is important to remember: the images do not have to be museum pieces either. The important thing is that they fulfill the function for which they are designed. That is they work for the [client], not for you.


Think of it like a song that brings back a flood of feelings. A $10,000 sound system isn't required to bring those feelings back. The sound just needs to be good enough. And, since most people don't have a trained ear, even if it were on a great stereo, the experience wouldn't be much richer. 


[Most people] know the difference between good photography and bad photography. But very few people know the difference between good photography and great photography. So if your focus is more on being a brilliant photo artist than being a vehicle for feelings, you'll need to do more refocusing."


While I understand the sentiments behind the above passage, I strongly disagree with them. The notion of "good enough" based on the lowest common denominator really doesn't sit well with me. I believe there is honor in honing one's craft even if most people will not be able to appreciate the finer details and innate effort involved. I see absolutely nothing wrong with a focus on being (or trying to become) a brilliant photo artist. As it is implicit in the above paragraphs, I also don't see that the ongoing debate between form vs. function has to result in a mutually exclusive choice. Why not choose form and function?

Ironically, I also think Sanders is far too generous in his assessment of the general population's eye for photography. There is plenty of ample evidence (available for all to see on the web in the form of portfolios and comments) that most people in fact cannot tell the difference between good and bad photography. If the people want Philadelphia rolls, let them eat Philadelphia rolls. I just don't want to be the person peddling them. However, I strongly believe palates and an "eye" for photography can be developed.

Don't get me wrong. I realize this might come off as snooty photographer speak, but that is not my intention at all. I am far from where I want to be but see the path to where I want to go. I think there are too many shortcuts in life, none of them leading to true excellence. With a medium like photography, those shortcuts can appear much more enticing, because most would never know you are taking them. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with a Philadelphia roll, there is definitely a much better Japanese dining experience to be had.

I don't know if I will ever reach my full potential, but I will always strive to be the best photographer that I can be. I am probably the harshest critic of my work (despite the fact that photographers love cutting down the work of other photographers), and I hope to never lose my hunger for improvement.

Cheers, 2010. Bring it, 2011.

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Here are some of my favorite images from 2010. It was a good year. It was a fun year. I will miss it.

[Underage Drinker]

[Bon Voyage]

Photographing my 92 year old grandmother is a memory I will always cherish.

[Portrait of an Artist]

I experimented a lot with a lifestyle look this year. Here my young nephew is busy eating snow in the middle of a photoshoot. To me, being a kid in the winter means ample opportunities to eat snow. If you haven't tried it as a kid, I would highly urge you to at least try it as an adult. Nothing says childhood and winter to me like eating snow. Peeing in the snow is a close second.

The following 4 images are from a wedding I was a second-shooter for. The day of this gig, I returned from a weekend bachelor party trip in Chicago. I was exhausted and wondered how I would shoot in such a tired mental state. Somehow I just let loose and got some of my best images that day. However, I would not recommend this approach nor attempt it on my own again, but hey, life happens. After having met Joe Buissink in Vegas, I must have channeled some of his energy. = )

I let the shutter drag at about 1/30. Usually this would create too much motion blur, but because of my external light source, the subjects were captured the way I wanted them to be.

Can you spot Barry Obama with his hand up? = )

There is something I love about trees, especially for engagement sessions. And much like each relationship, no two trees are exactly alike.

No single event of 2010 shook my world as much as the birth of my son. Capturing images of my child was an emotional and amazing exercise in photography. I look forward to documenting the rest of his life.

As my son lay bundled up in bed the morning after his birth, I couldn't help but marvel at how tiny this new fantastic little creature in my life was. Some might find it odd, but I loved incorporating an apple into this picture. His head really was not much bigger than that. And that is always how I will remember those early moments of peace.

The pink wrinkled fingers of my baby boy reminded me of the stitches on a baseball. Not sure why my mind is wired the way it is, but my hands have no choice but to follow and execute my vision.

I didn't think I would enjoy child photography, but there is something about it that is extremely rewarding. It is a bit frustrating since the subject is unable to follow directions, but the end result is always so precious. I also love the creative challenge of using available light and finding clean backdrops to create a studio look outside of the studio. I knew shooting off my flashes would not fly with my wife, so I made do and learned a ton in the process.

[Play That Funky Music White Boy]

That really was the song this guy was singing when I captured this moment. I love coming up with captions for photos, but sometimes they just attach themselves.

There were so many gigs and so many images, and I am certain I am forgetting a bunch of special ones. Forgive me. It is my head and not my heart.

I bid thee adieu, 2010.

Merry Christmas!

Shallom. Salaam. Peace.

Welcome to the 30s: Matthew's Surprise Party

I would start this entry off by saying that I have been neglecting my blog as of late, except that it annoys me when blog entries begin that way. Oh the irony.

A few weeks ago I documented a surprise party for Matthew at the charming Bistro D'oc in Washington, DC. When his wife Alanna contacted me about shooting the event, I knew it would be a special night to remember. I enjoyed operating in stealth mode with her and the rest of Matthew's friends and family in the days before the event.

I knew Matthew's entrance would be the key to documenting this event, so I scoped the scene, set up my lights, and was ready to go in my photographic sniper stance. The rest of the group remained hidden near the back of the private room as Matthew and Alanna made their way into the restaurant.

the moment of surprise

emotions sink in

Hitting the 30s is always an interesting time in a man's life, but I am glad Matthew hit the ground running with a little help from his friends and family. And of course, the thoughtfulness of a good wife is the perfect salve for alleviating the transition into the 30s.

Happy birthday, Matthew!

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As the year comes to a close, I naturally think back to everything that went down in 2010. It was a special year on many fronts, and one that I will never forget.

This was my last shoot of the year, and I am excited for what 2011 has in store. I haven't done an official count, but I went on over 50 shoots in the last 12 months.

I hope to compose a few final blog entries highlighting my favorite shots of 2010 and reflecting on the past year and the way forward.

Photography Spotlight: Stanko Abadzic

Photography is a powerful medium; a blank canvas that is rarely utilized to its full potential. Once in a while, I will come across an artist that just blows my mind and inspires me to push forward on the long journey that is photography.

Stanko Abadzic is one such artist. Despite his name being "Stanko," this guy puts out amazing work. I first discovered Abadzic's work in an issue of Black & White magazine and went home immediately and searched for more of his work. I love the strong lines which guide his composition and his masterful and powerful use of the contrast between light and shadows.

Born in Croatia in 1952, Abadzic lived in a number of countries, which surely shaped his unique point of view. Particularly evident in most of Stanko's work is a sense of nostalgia which is deeply embedded in his elegant compositions.

 

Abadzic's work in many cases appears like a throwback to an older era. He carefully and purposefully tries to engage viewers of his pictures on an emotional level, momentarily bringing them back to a simpler time. Stanko openly laments the unwanted by-products of globalization, in particular as they relate to human "connectivity." As people grow more connected to communications technology, Abadzic argues that life becomes faster and that people grow less connected to one another. Frequency of communication has surely increased since the advent of cell phones, e-mail, and instant messaging, but the depth and quality of interactions has likely eroded.

"The faster we live, the less emotion is left in the world. The slower we live, the deeper we feel the world around us."

 

This is my favorite Abadzic photograph. The lines and composition amaze me. This piece was wonderfully and masterfully composed. These types of photographs have souls.

 

"I still believe photography can touch people emotionally. I believe a photograph can be a testimony and a document of its time, and that it can inspire us to talk to each other and make a better world."

 

"We lose our happiness when we lose our sense of identity."

I have always lived near big cities, so the only jungles I have known are concrete ones. I prefer life at a fast pace, but enjoy the rare moments of clarity that life provides. I hope Abadzic's work was as therapeutic for you as it was for me. I may look around for an old manual typewriter. Ironically, without technology and increasing levels of globalization, I would have never come across the work of Abadzic.

A colleague of mine applying to graduate school asked if I would share my old essays. I managed to dig up the files on an old laptop. As I went through my old writing, I was amazed at how jaded my views are today compared to just five years ago. Granted you put your best foot forward in application essays, but a part of me would be astounded if I truly believed even half of what I wrote at the time of its penning. I guess life has taken its licks, but I am still standing. 

To remain idealistic and hopeful in an increasingly cynical world is within itself a revolutionary act.

I have had Jerry MaGuire moments in my life before, and I hope this is not one of them.

Portraits: Baby Beluga

Life has been keeping me quite busy, and unfortunately I haven't had much time to photograph little Lex. However, as I am in the habit of doing, I like to think about lighting scenarios and where I should shoot even when I am not actually photographing anything.

Generally for portraiture studio setups are nice and reliable, but there is something about natural light that I love. Baby photography is also an incredible test of patience, and so I salute all the baby photographers out there!

 

Being a dad is quite an interesting experience. I like it a lot more than I thought I would. When I am greeted by this smile in the morning, it really is very difficult to leave for work. Or maybe he is smiling because I am leaving. I'll have to ask him in a year or so.

This is my favorite shot from this set. Smiles are nice and all, but there is something about a person with a pensive look (imaginary or real) that I enjoy. The contrast between the semi-serious face and the unmanageable Alfalfa sprouts of hair always makes me chuckle. 

I got a brief look at Le Tigre. It is a fierce look Lex uses for catalogs and footwear sometimes. I am starting to wonder if I can even handle Magnum. It always amazes me how different children look when you pose them in a different way.

Lashes

When I look at my sleeping child, it gives me time to reflect on all the big changes in my life. While I may not be in control and have very little sense of where all this is headed, I am happy. I realize that my love for my son is really just an extension of my love for my wife. I love seeing features on him that without a doubt are from my wife's side of the gene pool. And I love him more for it.

Wedding: Jen & Matt

I recently had the pleasure of second shooting for my friend Inhar Chong.

It is always good to shoot with friends, and the freedom to exclusively take photojournalistic shots is always a fun way to capture an event.

Warming up for the big show

Go time

No more pictures!